Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Designer Jessica Resendíz On The Healing Power Of A Solo Lunch Date

/* /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// */ /* EDIT - Do you need a video opener? Set to 'true' if animated video, if not set to 'false' */ var hasVideo = false; /* /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// */ /* Video loading image, Use image from first frame */ /* Hero, Desktop & Tablet use 8:3, 2000px x 750px squooshed mozJPG at 75% compression */ var desktopHeroImage = ""; /* Hero, Mobile use 720px 1:1,5:6,4:3, 1280px wide squooshed mozJPG at 75% compression */ var mobileHeroImage = ""; /* /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// */ /* Please add accessible alt text */ var desktopHeroAltText = ""; var mobileHeroAltText = ""; /* /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// */ /* EDIT - Desktop & Tablet wide video URL from JWPlayer, use min 1920px x 720px 8:3 wide asset, 6-10 second loop, no audio */ var desktopVideo = ""; /* /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// */ /* EDIT - Mobile video URL from JWPlayer, use 720px 1:1,5:6,4:3 squre/tall asset, 6-10 second loop, no audio */ var mobileVideo = ""; /* /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// */ /* DO NOT ALTER */ /* Build additional functions here. */ function initOther() { /* Additional functionality is initialized here */ console.log('initOther'); } function loadVideo(){var e=document.getElementById("tmp-video-hero-desktop"),o=document.getElementById("tmp-video-hero-mobile");window.innerWidth>960&&(e.src=desktopVideo,e.load()),window.innerWidth>767&&window.innerWidth<961&&(e.src=desktopVideo,e.load()),window.innerWidth<768&&(o.src=mobileVideo,o.load())}function setupVideo(){document.getElementsByClassName("full-width-opener")[0].setAttribute("id","tmp-content"),document.getElementById("tmp-content").innerHTML='
',loadVideo()}function setup(e){1==e&&setupVideo()}function ready(e){(document.attachEvent?"complete"===document.readyState:"loading"!==document.readyState)?e():document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded",e)}document.onmouseleave=function(){window.isReady=!1},window.addEventListener("resize",function(){window.isReady=!1}),window.isReady=void 0!==window.isReady&&window.isReady,ready(function(){var e=setInterval(function(){window.imagesLoaded&&(imagesLoaded("#tmp-load",{background:!0},function(){window.isReady=!1,clearInterval(e)}),clearInterval(e))},100);if(!1!==window.isReady)return;window.isReady=!0;const o=setTimeout(function(){clearTimeout(o),setup(hasVideo),initOther()},100)});

Welcome to Refinery29’s Why I Do It, a series where we ask inspirational, successful people 29 questions about what fuels them on and off the clock. Because, let’s face it: life is about so much more than chasing inbox zero.

At the ripe age of 12, fashion designer and illustrator Jessica Resendíz was already sewing, hand-stitching, designing, and reconstructing vintage pieces. Twenty years later, the Mexican-born, L.A.-based entrepreneur is still practicing her craft — now, by way of her own brand, RaggedyTiff. And while her trajectory hasn’t been linear (whose is?), one thing has remained consistent throughout her journey: the unwavering inspiration she draws from her Mexican heritage, which is palpable in her one-of-a-kind apparel, accessories, home decor, and stationery. In spite of juggling a thriving business, a family, and far more ideas than she can realistically carry out, Resendíz has no plans to slow down anytime soon, thanks to brands like Oral-B that help her stay confident in her success. Here’s why she does it.

What’s the very first thing you do when you wake up? Prioritize me — and my mental health — by taking care of myself: washing my face, brushing my teeth, reading a nice book, and drinking hot tea.

Power nap or power workout? A 20-minute cat nap.

Early bird or night owl? Early bird.

How many unread emails do you have in your inbox right now? My business inbox is pretty good — I don’t have any unread emails (yet). As for my personal inbox, I don’t know. Probably over 100.

Iced or hot coffee? Hot tea! I’m into jasmine-lavender flavor, but I also drink a lot of green or peppermint tea.

What’s your favorite thing that you keep on your desk or workspace? My vintage timer. I bought it at a thrift shop; the bottom of it says, “Time means money.” I also love my sage and crystals.

When was the last time you felt like a success? I hosted a pop-up shop in Houston, TX a few years back. (It was my first pop-up not in California, where I grew up.) I was nervous about the turn-out — I put so much time and love into it, and I thought, what if only four people show up? I was scared. But thankfully, people were lined up around the corner. They drove from cities like San Antonio, Austin, and Dallas. I was like, Wow, this many people are paying attention to what I’m doing. It was the best feeling.

What do you do on those days when you don’t feel that confident? I love watching TED Talks, reading, and listening to podcasts. It makes me feel like I’m diving into a positive space rather than focusing on the negative.

What’s one thing you do every day, without fail? Read a book every single morning, even if it’s just one chapter.

What’s something you wish you did every day? Run. My dream is to do 5K or 10K runs. I walk every day, but I wish I ran every day.

What’s your favorite piece of advice that you’ve gotten? To “live in the moment.”

What’s your least favorite piece of advice you’ve gotten? “You’ll get over it.” There was a point in my life when I experienced anxiety, and people would say, “Oh, don’t think about it. Think about something else and you’ll get over it.” But anxiety is very real.

Who inspires you the most? My grandmother. I used to go back to Mexico, where I was born, every year, and she’d teach me how to make tortillas and wash clothes in the river. Because of her — and all of the things she taught me — I am the person I am today. She passed away a few years ago, but she’s still my biggest hero.

Who, if anyone, do you try to emulate? My two mentors: Liz Hernandez (she’s a motivational speaker and the founder of a video series called Wordaful) and Melody Ehsani (she’s a fashion designer and co-host of one of my favorite podcasts, The Butterfly Forecast).

What’s something people ask you for advice about often? Business, motherhood, and mental health.

What’s a piece of advice you felt proud to give? I was a speaker once for an event with middle school-aged girls. I gave them advice on how to pursue their passions with love and hard work. It felt very special to just connect with the younger generation — I remember wishing I had someone to motivate and inspire me when I was their age.

What’s your most-used app on your phone? It’s a tie between Instagram and TikTok. Instagram is more for business and catching up. TikTok is also useful for business, I use it for advice, too. Or to learn how to make a dish, or to curl up and cry at videos of cats and dogs. It helps me get out of the ‘work zone’ a bit.

Where do you put your phone while you’re sleeping? Under my pillow.

What do you do when you feel yourself burning out? If it’s something I know I can come back to later or pause, I’ll just stop what I’m doing and take a power nap, have a nice lunch by myself, or go to the bookstore.

What’s something you consider a secret weapon? Journaling. If I have something going on or I’m having a bad day, I write about it in a journal. Letting everything out is de-stressing, and I feel like a different person afterward.

Where are you, compared to where you thought you’d be at 12 years old? I love my parents so much, but I couldn’t wait to leave home and live under my own rules, not theirs. I always wanted to explore the world; I was very curious. And now, sometimes I have these wholesome moments where I think, Wow, I really did do what I wanted to when I was little, and I’m living on my own. It’s crazy because I manifested that.

If you could change one thing about your professional life, what would it be? As a creative person, my mind is constantly thinking of all these ideas. So, I’m trying to find a way to not shut them down, but to be like, Okay, calm down, you can’t do 20 different designs before the year ends because it’s unrealistic.

What’s been your biggest pieces of support, helping you get where you are? My daughter. Sometimes I’ll work late, and she’ll tell me, “Mom, it’s already past your bedtime. I think it’s time for you to relax.” My partner also checks on me; he’ll be like, “Let’s take the dogs out. Let’s go to the park.” They both know when I’m stressed or overworked and need a break.

What do you do to start your workday? I do my self-care routine, then I check emails, check the website, and check inventory.

What’s a step in your self-care routine that you’ll never skip? Taking care of my teeth by brushing two or three times a day (I love my Oral-B iO Series 8 electric toothbrush; it’s been my go-to forever), flossing, and using mouthwash. Oral hygiene is very important to me. I hated my teeth when I was younger and I used to get made fun of for them. I wanted braces, but my parents thought they were a waste of money. So, when I was in college, I saved up and got braces for myself. I think a smile — even if you don’t have “perfect” teeth — is one of the most beautiful features on someone. It can change someone’s day.

What do you do to end your workday? I love cleaning up my workspace. I know that means it’s time to wind down, and entering a clean space in the morning is probably one of the best feelings.

What’s the last song you listened to? “Colorado” or “Long Beach” by Kota the Friend. He’s a really good rapper who sings about inspirational things.

What’s the last photo in your favorites folder on your phone? I recently found a farm near me that was growing beautiful marigolds (the flower is used to honor our ancestors during Día de Muertos each year). I went and took a bunch of pictures and videos of them.

If you could go back and do one thing differently in your career path, what would it be? Hire a sewer. You definitely need help when you run your own business.

What’s the last thing you do before bed? Go on TikTok and then read (I always end my night reading). I like physical books so I can highlight and bookmark things. I’m currently reading Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future by Yung Pueblo.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

I’m in My Soft Girl Era. Here Are 5 Ways I Achieve The Look & Lifestyle

I wake up in the morning engulfed in a white fluffy duvet and dressed in a pink, lace-trim nightgown. Looking across my room, I see my dresser lined with Chanel books, a statue of Aphrodite, my headband rack, a vase of pink roses, and my bows. Moments like this affirm that I am in my soft girl era. 

Growing up in a developing suburb outside Atlanta, I was one of six kids who enjoyed play time in the woods. Catching tadpoles and playing in the dirt was the way we lived for several years. Then, when I was seven, I moved in with my grandmother, and everything changed. 

Abuela embodied class and introduced me to Disney princesses and Nicholas Sparks. She designed my room to be a princess wonderland. There was a corner dedicated to playing with Barbies and setting up tea time.

Play time wasn’t the only thing that changed; my clothes did, too. My grandma introduced me to style icons like Audrey Hepburn and Cher Horowitz that felt so foreign to me. When I lived with my mother, I wore jeans and overalls paired with a basic tee. But when my grandma picked out my outfits for school, I usually wore a pink dress or skirt with a blouse that had lace trimming and dainty details like flowers or bows. 

Initially when I wore these pieces, I felt uncomfortable. I wasn’t used to wearing these types of clothes, and I was scared of getting them dirty. But soon enough, it became routine for me to want to feel and look pretty. I began to admire fashion, romantic sceneries, and how these regal women carried themselves.

Still, while I was dressing in these pink and puffy frocks, I couldn’t help but feel like an outcast. None of the princesses I saw in movies or read about in books looked like me.

Throughout history, it has been predominantly wealthy white women who have been able to dress in these lovely gowns and tweed sets. They could afford to engage in leisure activities such as tea times and dress fittings.

Still, while I didn’t share their wealth or their whiteness, I always felt beautiful when my grandmother helped me dress nicely. It was a reminder that although I might not be a “real” princess, I can still carry myself like one through kindness and style. I, too, am worthy of adorning my body, of being adored, and of becoming a role model — despite the hypercritical looks I’d receive from classmates.

“It is about being kind, prioritizing self-love, and taking life seriously and gently.”

Valerie McPherson

Then, at 14, I moved back with my mother and siblings and things changed — again. From middle school up until the end of college in 2021, my fashion and lifestyle were influenced by peer pressure, the media, and life circumstances. I wasn’t dressing like me or for me anymore; instead, I was dressing for what I thought other people expected of me. Experiencing financial distress at home and witnessing gang violence when I left my house, I always had to be tough. I was constantly bullied and felt insecure. I had lost my feminine touch.

Then, during the pandemic, I did what a lot of people did: I rewatched my favorite shows. Among them was Gossip Girl, the early aughts TV series about a group of privileged (and mostly white) students living on the Upper East Side of New York City. I had this fascination with the characters’ clothes and their lifestyles on screen. Their garbs — such as Blair Waldorf’s classic Constance Billard school uniform, her periwinkle blue dress from the street montage with Serena, and the big bow on a tweed skirt paired with a chiffon floral top — had an elegant and soft touch, and I adored it. It reminded me of my youth and how much I enjoyed dressing like that. 

While I am no socialite, I knew I could still emulate the same soft looks, not only through fashion but also by how I carry myself. So, in October 2021, I visited New York City for the first time, and I recreated fashion looks set against iconic scenes from Gossip Girl, like eating on the steps of the Met and having tea at the Plaza Hotel. 

I instantly felt a surge of energy and power. I knew I was re-entering my soft girl era, embracing my feminine side through fashion and lifestyle activities. The Tiffany Blue-colored icing on the top: It was boosting my confidence.

But more than style and communal activities, the soft girl era is about prioritizing one’s well being. It allows me to express my emotions, romanticize my life, and get in touch with that gentle side of myself that can become entangled with the problems around me. As a brown-skinned Latina, I deserve this. More than that, embracing my inner soft girl shows others like me that they deserve to, too. 

We are allowed to dress in hyper-feminine clothing, too. We warrant soft, gentle play, too. When people dismissively tell me, “you dress like a white girl,” I simply respond by saying that no one should be denied the ability to wear puffy dresses or tweed sets if they want to. Every woman is allowed to care about their appearance and upkeep, and we should not be deemed shallow or high-maintenance for doing what makes us feel beautiful.

There’s a soft girl in all of us. This era has taught me that I can be open and vulnerable, and that beauty is not just a physical attribute — it is also about being kind, prioritizing self-love, and taking life seriously and gently. While you can make the soft girl aesthetic your own, here is a guide on how I achieve this look. 

Dress for the season.

During the spring and summer seasons, I enjoy princesscore or cottagecore fashion trends. This includes beautiful dresses that are flowy and puffy with details like bows and lace. Meanwhile, during the fall and winter seasons, I shoot for the plaza princess or preppy look since these months are cooler. The plaza princess style is inspired by a grown-up Eloise, the protagonist of the 1950s children’s books, which could include tweed sets, tights, and layered pieces such as blazers, faux fur-trimmed cardigans, and pleated skirts.

Add pastel colors to your closet.

My favorite colors are pink and white. These two colors together give a soft, elegant touch to anyone. I prefer pastels over neon colors because they’re easier to pair with other items and suit my look. However, I also love wearing black because it makes any outfit look chic and elegant.

Get the accessories right.

I’m huge on accessories. All of my jewelry is dainty and simple, but when paired together, it gives the essential soft girl look. I also adore headpieces. I like to add either a headband, a bow, or a beret to my outfit; these pieces lend a sweetness to my whole look.

When I wear dresses during the cooler months, I layer them with tights and stockings and pair my outfits with either a blazer or a scarf. When in doubt, I like to tie ribbons either on my neck or wrist and make a bow — it just adds a little something extra.

Partake in leisurely activities. 

I love engaging in activities that make me feel extra feminine. One of my favorites is tea time with girlfriends. Tea time allows me to dress up. I remember my childhood tea set-ups, and I turn them into reality. I also enjoy hanging at cafes, having brunch dates with friends, visiting bookshops, and exploring museums. These activities fit into the soft girl aesthetic because they’re about leisure; they’re things we are not able to do all the time. When my friends and I get together for tea, we get to put on pretty clothes and have this expectation that we will be indulging in dainty foods, delicious pastries, and an afternoon of catching up while enjoying each other’s company. 

Take care of yourself.

The most fulfilling part of being in my soft girl era is doing something for myself. I set aside time to get my haircut and have my nails done with the perfect shade of baby pink. I dedicate at least one night a week to putting on my face mask and relaxing. These self-care activities can sometimes be pushed back due to work and other responsibilities, but it’s important to make time for myself and enjoy what I love. I pamper myself and do not feel guilty about it. 

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

25 Elevated Cardigans That Definitely Aren’t Your Grandma’s

It’s no secret that we love sweaters — chunky knits, turtlenecks, striped jumpers, you name it. Can you blame us? There’s nothing better than a cozy knit top to snuggle in while you venture out in the brisk outdoors. But if we have one tiny little complaint about the state of knitwear, it’s this: Every style looks the same as those from years past. Sweaters can get repetitive. However, one silhouette that has been upgraded in the past few years is cardigans. Wait, my unraveling chunky cardigan, you might say? Not exactly. Just wait; the best cardigan in your wardrobe has yet to come. 

Cardigans started to make a stylish comeback last fall when the micro versions made headlines during New York Fashion Week. Designers like Maryam Nassir Zadeh and Kim Shui debuted tiny cardigans — the cousin to the viral pin tops — during their spring 2022 runways. As you can imagine, fashion enthusiasts and celebs ate it up. While the itty-bitty, thin cardigan is still floating along, many people are still opting for warmer, more sustainable options in updated, 2022-friendly designs.  

From whimsical hues, jeweled buttons, and quirky motifs to zip-up details, front-close knits are here to spice up your cold-weather ensembles. Don't worry; we still added a few of the beloved oversized and cable-knit styles for you to throw on while listening to T Swift's "cardigan" to celebrate the return of chilly weather. Plus, since sweater weather is here, there's no better time to add to your collection with a new-and-improved cropped or long cardi sweater (or two). Here are 25 of the coolest cardigans around to get you started.

At Refinery29, we’re here to help you navigate this overwhelming world of stuff. All of our market picks are independently selected and curated by the editorial team. All product details reflect the price and availability at the time of publication. If you buy or click on something we link to on our site, Refinery29 may earn commission.

For more can't-miss shopping stories delivered straight to your inbox, sign up for our Most Wanted newsletter.


Quince Baby Alpaca-Wool Cropped Cardigan, $, available at Quince


Everlane The Alpaca V-Neck Cropped Cardigan, $, available at Everlane


Jenni Kayne Cable Cocoon Cardigan, $, available at Jenni Kayne


Madewell Brampton Crop Cardigan Sweater, $, available at Madewell


Free People Bonfire Cardi, $, available at Free People


Ugg Joselyn Lounge Cardigan, $, available at Nordstrom


Sandro Preston Houndstooth Cardigan, $, available at Nordstom


J.Crew Featherweight Cashmere Cropped Cardigan Sweater, $, available at J.Crew


Alice + Olivia Kitty Puff-Sleeve Cardigan, $, available at Saks Fifth Avenue


Pilcro Pilcro Flower Cardigan Sweater, $, available at Anthropologie


River Island Green Rib Long Sleeve Cardigan, $, available at River Island


COS Zip-Up Ribbed-Knit Cardigan, $, available at COS


Zara Jewel Button Knit Cardigan, $, available at Zara


Uniqlo Low Gauge V-Neck Long-Sleeve Cardigan, $, available at Uniqlo


Eloquii Tipping Detail Cardigan Sweater Dress, $, available at Eloquii


Farm Rio Mixed Textures Button-Front Crochet Cardigan, $, available at Net-A-Porter


ASOS DESIGN Crop Cardigan With 3D Textured Stitch, $, available at ASOS


YanYan Rosie Pointelle Wool Cardigan, $, available at Nordstrom


Threadbare Curve Jet Mid Length Cardigan, $, available at ASOS


And Other Stories Wool Knit Glitter Cardigan, $, available at And Other Stories


Rachel Antonoff Cori Cardigan, $, available at Rachel Antonoff


Bailey 44 Brea Sweater Deep V Cardigan, $, available at Bailey 44


H&M H&M+ Knit Cardigan, $, available at H&M


O'Dolly Dearest Whatever Forever Feather Trim Cardigan, $, available at O'Dolly Dearest


Mango Check Knitted Cardigan, $, available at Mango


Everlane The Chunky Cardigan, $, available at Everlane


Eloquii Colorblock Sweater Cardigan Dress, $, available at Eloquii


YanYan Curious Embroidered Colorblock Lambswool Cardigan, $, available at Nordstrom


Daisy Street Plus 90's Cropped Cardigan, $, available at ASOS


Sandro Driss Wool Cable Knit Cardigan, $, available at Saks Fifth Avenue


H&M Short Cardigan, $, available at H&M


Miss Selfridge Cable Contrast Bow Cardigan In Ivory, $, available at ASOS


Everlane The Alpaca V-Neck Cropped Cardigan, $, available at Everlane


Alex Mill Margot Cardigan, $, available at Alex Mill


Mango Oversize Knit Cardigan, $, available at Mango


Farm Rio Colorful Bananas Cardigan, $, available at Farm Rio


Ganni Solid Cardigan, $, available at Lisa Says Gah


BP. Plus Crop Recycled Blend Cardigan, $, available at Nordstrom Rack


& Other Stories Boxy Asymmetric Cardigan, $, available at & Other Stories


Mango Multi-Color Knit Cardigan, $, available at Mango


UO Bec Cardigan, $, available at Urban Outfitters


& Other Stories Boxy Waffle Stitch Cardigan, $, available at & Other Stories


Free People High Tide Cardi, $, available at Free People


The Drop Divya Pointelle Full Sleeve Cardigan Sweater, $, available at Amazon


Eloquii Cutout Neckline Cardigan, $, available at Eloquii


Victor Glemaud Pink Wool Cardigan, $, available at SSENSE


Lisa Says Gah Leti Button Up, $, available at Lisa Says Gah


H&M Jacquard-Knit Cardigan, $, available at H&M


Scoop Faux Sherpa Grandpa Cardigan, $, available at Walmart


Uniqlo U Full Needle Short Cardigan, $, available at Uniqlo


Christopher John Rogers Color-Block Ribbed Cardigan, $, available at Net-A-Porter
From now on, no cardigan roundup is complete without the Harry-Styles-approved one that sparked a viral TikTok sensation.

JW Anderson Colorblock Patchwork Cardigan, $, available at JW Anderson

Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?

Why Are Cardigans Trending On TikTok?

Harry Styles' Cardigan Is Summer’s Top Trend

Don't Snooze On Finding A Cute, Cozy Cardigan